Why u self loathe? That no healthy.

I self loathe at this time for many reasons.

I’m find out only recently that in the course of taking on too much on board last year, I fucked off even more people than I realised, to the point of some of them not wanting to work with me (regardless of my naivety). I loathe myself for this.

I go to work, and make fuckups that frustrate me hugely, whether I’ve been prepared/experienced enough to recognise them or not.  I loathe myself for this.

I demand a lot of myself in what I achieve and want to learn, and project these expectations onto others.  I don’t feel accomplished with the past half year’s intentions of my creative work, and I see my peers and friends progressing with their lives.  I loathe myself for this.

I decidedly act on things that I assume are ok, only to recognise later that they weren’t, because I have little emotional intelligence, and hurt a lot of people as a result.  I’m a fucking terrible person to other people, especially those closest.  I loathe myself for this.

I’m a catalyst of frustration and anguish for everybody and everything around me, and it would be better if I had never existed.  These reasons are why I self loathe.

that deep self loathing that consumes your mind to physical paralysis

yeah, that’s where i’m at


crazeemuse, rhapsodicmumbler, and danisnotadj are all contemporary musicians that live in Adelaide and I found them all through Tumblr.


samelnicomposer, you should meet prokovensky too.  He and I met casually through tumblr, and a few months later were both in the Australian String Quartet’s National Composers’ Forum 2013.  A small world for tumblrites indeed (AND WE’RE ALL QUEER <3) :)

Experimental cooking with Scouts is best

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tread softly, because you tread on my memes


oh richard…

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•=• •=• •=•

(Source: ra-goo, via crazeemuse)

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and because I ran out of room: 

 In-Depth Powerpoint Examples: 



(via homingrat)

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Vincent D’Indy; Cours de composition musicale, deuxième livre, première partie, 1912

(via imaginarydances)

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how she do that

(Source: neachi, via ruinedchildhood)

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(Source: aksos, via dissonancengine)

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R.I.P. the actual meaning of the word “aesthetics” 

the way this website uses “aesthetics” is 100% in line with the dictionary definition, what’s the weather like up there on your high horse

(via dissonancengine)



Chinese doctors bowing down to a 11 year old boy diagnosed with brain cancer who managed to save several lives by donating his organs to the hospital he was being treated in shortly before his death.


(via suburban-whitegirlproblems)

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