Why u self loathe? That no healthy.
I self loathe at this time for many reasons.
I’m find out only recently that in the course of taking on too much on board last year, I fucked off even more people than I realised, to the point of some of them not wanting to work with me (regardless of my naivety). I loathe myself for this.
I go to work, and make fuckups that frustrate me hugely, whether I’ve been prepared/experienced enough to recognise them or not. I loathe myself for this.
I demand a lot of myself in what I achieve and want to learn, and project these expectations onto others. I don’t feel accomplished with the past half year’s intentions of my creative work, and I see my peers and friends progressing with their lives. I loathe myself for this.
I decidedly act on things that I assume are ok, only to recognise later that they weren’t, because I have little emotional intelligence, and hurt a lot of people as a result. I’m a fucking terrible person to other people, especially those closest. I loathe myself for this.
I’m a catalyst of frustration and anguish for everybody and everything around me, and it would be better if I had never existed. These reasons are why I self loathe.
that deep self loathing that consumes your mind to physical paralysis
yeah, that’s where i’m at
samelnicomposer, you should meet prokovensky too. He and I met casually through tumblr, and a few months later were both in the Australian String Quartet’s National Composers’ Forum 2013. A small world for tumblrites indeed (AND WE’RE ALL QUEER <3) :)
R.I.P. the actual meaning of the word “aesthetics”
the way this website uses “aesthetics” is 100% in line with the dictionary definition, what’s the weather like up there on your high horse